The Real Reason He Will Not Speak? Most Guys Think About Issues Discussed Is A Waste Of Time

Try to get your guy to tell you what's bothering him? I wonder why it does not seem interested in hearing about your terrible day? Do not worry, dear: It's not that your boyfriend does not care or he's trying to act hard. In a recent survey, it's just that most men think, to discuss issues is a waste of time.

This attitude is not just for adults either. The study, to be published in "Child Development" journal, found that when it comes to open about their problems, the boys seem to feel the same way as adult men.

"For years, psychologists have insisted that the popular kids and men like to talk about their problems, but are held back by fear of embarrassment or appear weak," said Amanda J. Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences, University of Missouri School of Arts and Sciences.

"But when we asked young people how they talk about their problems would make them feel, the boys had not express fear or anxiety to discuss problems more than girls," said Rose. "Instead, the answers guys suggest they do not see that talking about problems to be a very useful activity."

Researchers at the University of Missouri ran four separate studies and gathered information and about 2,000 children and adolescents, and the results will not be a surprise to anyone who has an earlier date. The girls said they discuss issues that they feel supported, understood and less alone. But the kids? Not so. They do not care about their problems that lead to bullying, and not avoid the discussion because they were ashamed, either. Instead, the study said: "The boys said they talk about the problems that make them feel" weird "and were" wasting time ".

The best thing to try to discuss something difficult: Finding a middle ground. And if you're older, it starts when children are small.

"Guys, it would be good to explain that at least some of the problems of the time, spoke of the problems is not a waste of time," Rose said, although parents should be aware that forcing a child to confide in you may not make them feel safer . And when it comes to your daughter, "too much talk about the problem" associated with depression and anxiety, said, "so the girls should know that talking about problems is not the only way to survive."

Difference in communication styles and expectations can lead to significant relationship problems later in life, study, entitled "How the boys and girls can expect problems with personal information make them feel: the effects of friendships," he suggests.

"Women can really push their partners in the accumulation and concerns, because they expect what about the people feel better," said Rose. "But their partners can simply not be interested, and s 'waiting for other coping mechanisms will make them feel better. "

When discussing a problem can help women find ways to solve it, men seem to think that the recognition of the problem is simply more difficult to handle. It's the old vs. Venus March communicative situation, now scientifically proven.

"Men just can not come from the same place as their partners," said Rose.